Why women have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age difference, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married woman.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I think typically though it is only the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.